Misadventures
by Kimiz
Summary: Because life is the messy bits. Collection of drabbles and oneshots, mostly about ShikaTema. Formerly "Desventuras".
1. Crappy Days

Hello, everyone, this is Kimiz, coming back from the dead, did anybody miss me? Probably not. xD

Anyways, the apex of my otaku phase in which I watched Naruto and wrote it like crazy was in my 7th grade, I was thirteen, and then I slowly abandoned it to my Harry Potter and Percy Jackson phase, but in a sudden burst of nostalgia I picked up my Naruto episodes and watched them again, and I'm back in a full blown Naruto phase.

This little something is my come back gift for anyone who might have missed me. It will be a series of drabbles or oneshots of various characters and couples (mostly ShikaTema, 'cause I'm a sucker for those two), mostly to help me get the hang of it again. It's been _ageees_ since I've written Naruto. So, there, I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto isn't mine, never was and never will be, and that's the gospel truth. (I lived and breathed Hercules when I was a kid (which belongs to Disney).) A disclaimer in a disclaimer? It had to be me.

**P.S.** Reminding you all, English is not my first language, so any mistake, point it out and I'll fix it.

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><p><strong>Crappy Days<strong>

.

.

.

He never told her, and she would have laughed if he had, but he knew the exact moment he found out he was in love with her.

He had had the crappiest day in his life. He had arrived from a mission with his team which they had barely survived in one piece, and as soon as he was out of the hospital he was thrust into the classroom to teach thirty five-year-olds who wouldn't stop screaming, and when he finished that, he was readily presented with a pile of paperwork the size of the Hokage tower due in two hours. He had by a miracle managed to get out of that alive, and headed towards his parents house for some good home-made comforting meal, only to arrive in the middle of one of his mother's fits. His ears rung for hours after that. The fact that she had made him fix everything in the house because his father was making a show of his "old age" didn't help. He had managed to sneak out while the two of them were bickering about a guest room in the second floor.

He was heading home, to his small, cozy, familiar, empty apartment, where the only one who could annoy him was the neighbour's cat breaking in through the window, thinking that the day was finally over and, well, it couldn't get any worse than that.

Ino caught him midway, dragged him to a bar and made him sit and listen to all her boy problems, and when she was done with that, Kiba arrived and decided to talk to him about all his _girl_ problems, and when he had finished, he stood up and left, leaving the double bill unpaid. And right when he was leaving, Gai and Lee jumped up out of nowhere and decided that he would be the next lucky victim of their flash intensive uber exclusive drop-dead-awesome training.

He wasn't feeling his legs after that. Or his arms. Or his shoulders. The only thing he could feel was his head, which pounded in an ever growing headache. Naruto didn't make it any better talking his ass off, or Sakura when she started screaming at him.

When Iruka saw him and lifted his hand to call his attention, he couldn't help it. He took off running in the opposite direction.

He finally, finally, managed to arrive home, fishing the key from his pocket and opening the door quickly, afraid anybody else would see him and kidnap him again. He stepped into the house hurriedly, and slammed the door behind him, leaning against it for a minute, thinking he was safe now.

That was when a yellow blur rushed in his direction and jumped on him, almost tackling him in the process. He swayed for a moment, before gaining balance and pulling the figure back by the shoulders to stare at it.

Her familiar teal eyes were staring at him in guilt and exasperation.

"I'm sorry!" she gushed uncharacteristically. He stared at her in confusion. "I'm so sorry! I was sneaking in, I didn't see it, then the cat showed up and startled me and when I saw, it was already broken! I'm so sorry, I didn't know it meant that much to you!" he blinked repeatedly, before saying slowly:

"What are you talking about?" she opened her mouth and closed it several times, before looking at him questioningly.

"You mean you don't know about the..." she stopped herself and grinned cheerfully "Nothing!"

"Temari..." he whispered in a reprimending voice. She sighed and grabbed his hand.

She dragged him to the bedroom, and stopped close to the bed, pointing dejectedly at something on the floor, by the window. There, at his feet, lied the shards of the flower vase his mother had given him as a moving away gift three years back. The vase she had brought from one of her rare trips out of the Fire country, with all the thoughtfulness of a mother who remembers her son. The dark brown, finely painted, _horrid looking_ vase he'd been trying to get rid of for _years_.

He looked up at her, at her messy blonde hair, her wrinkled clothes, her wide green eyes full of shame and remorse.

And he started laughing.

Uncontrollably.

He cracked up.

Her face flushed in anger and she slapped his arm in indignance.

"What's so funny?"

"You… Should have seen your face!" he choked between laughter. She frowned.

"You mean you're not angry?" he laughed even harder.

"Angry? I've been trying to get rid of that ugly thing for _ages!_ And you were looking… So guilty!" she huffed, crossing her arms and turning her chin in embarrassment.

"Well, sorry for caring!" she declared crossly.

He stopped laughing, catching his breath, but maintaining a smile. He had been having the crappiest day of his life, and just when he felt like shooting himself, he arrived home to find her there, fussing over something ridiculous, making him laugh and making him forget the bad things.

It was in that exact moment that it struck him that he wouldn't have minded coming home everyday to that. And maybe, just maybe, if he did it right, he could.

"Oi, what are you doing? Why are you in your thinking position? Hey! Are you going to answer me? Crazy man…"

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><p>That was the first, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, even though Temari was a bit OOC. Leave a review and tell me what you thought!<p> 


	2. Proposals

**A/N: **Hello! Another shot, inspired by my brilliant father's proposal to my mom. Gotta love the man. Presenting my OC, Nara Uotani, ShikaTema's daughter. She has a twin named Hanajima, but that's for another time. And by the way, Haru would be Mitsuharu, Naruto's son.

**Proposals**

Fourteen years old Nara Uotani sat by her mother's side, cheerfully helping her sharpen her weapons. It might have sounded strange to anyone outside the family, but it was some sort of tradition, and if she could spend some time with her busy mother, who was she to complain? Besides, she guessed it was better than having to help her father with paperwork. Poor Haru and his Hokage father could barely dig their way out of the sea of paper in time to go home for dinner. She chuckled at her poor friend's misfortune and picked up one of the kunais on top of the table.

Her mother's hand passed by hers while doing the same and she noticed confusedly that there was something missing on her finger.

"Mom, where's your wedding ring?" her mother looked at her own hand surprised and sighed.

"I took it off to cook, I must've forgotten to put it back."

A sudden idea hit Uotani's head, and she smiled mischievously.

"Hey, mom, talking about wedding rings..." her mother looked up with eyebrows raised. "Will you tell me how dad proposed?"

She had been trying to embarrass her mother, heaven knew how hilarious that woman looked flushed, and Uotani knew by experience that her mother was anti-romantic enough to be disgusted – and occasionally embarrassed – by any remotely gushy thing. Even if she knew her father wasn't the type to show up with roses on your doorstep, she was told by her Aunt Ino that he was a closet-romantic. She had been expecting her mother to blush and try to mumble out excuses to get out of the room.

Instead, she lifted her chin and looked at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Well... We were sitting in a room at the Hokage Tower... Finishing the paperwork for the Chunin Exams... And I think..." Uotani leaned in in expectation. "I think his exact words were 'Wanna get married?'" she grinned at the disheartened look on her daughter's face.

Nara Uotani should have known better with parents like hers.


	3. Sand

**A/N: **Hi, there! I had a sudden burst of inspiration today, I pulled out about four of these during a terribly boring Software Engineering class. I'll be putting them, one shortly after the other. Thank you for those who reviewed! Enjoy!

**Sand**

Contrary to popular belief, he did have some adapting issues when he first moved to Suna.

One issue, actually.

One very, very _big _issue.

Sand.

Sand… Everywhere.

Sand on the sheets, sand in his clothes, sand in his hair, sand in his shoes, sand in his eyes, sand on the couch, sand on the kitchen counter, sand on the dinner table.

Sand in his coffee.

He glared at the swirling black liquid inside the green mug he squeezed in his hands. Now, this was too much. He hated this wretched place, why the hell was he still here?

He heard the noise of the front door opening and looked up in time to catch Temari's amused grin at his sullen expression. She kicked her sandals off to one corner of the room, threw her vest on the couch and walked up to him, hugging his shoulders and kissing his neck tenderly.

"Whatever did the poor coffee do to you?" she asked humorously.

He smirked to himself for a second, before dropping his mug and turning around to greet her properly.

Right. _That's_ why.

**Note: **In my head (and I will admit this has a major influence of the absurd amount of ShikaTemas I've read since I came back to fandom) Shika lived with Temari in Suna for some time before they decided to go raise their children in Konoha. It's because I love Suna so much, and the prospect of hilarious bonding moments among Sand Sibs plus Shikamaru, but I can't let Konoha go somehow. Anyway, this will be reflected in the stories.


	4. Sleep Talking Man

**A/N: **Just a quick silly drabble. How I love it when people start mumbling in their sleep. Hellouu, little sister, yes, I'm talking about you Miss "What A Splendent Light!" Thank you, everyone who reviewed!

**Sleep Talking Man**

Temari had forgotten an important scroll at home, one that she really needed for the reunion she was currently stuck in, so she had excused herself to go and get it. She burst through the front door and rushed about in the house, looking for it. Finally, she remembered she had been reading through it right before she fell asleep. She doubted the other occupant of the house had moved one finger since she left him an hour or so ago, so she guessed the scroll would still be where she had put the other night.

She crossed the bedroom's door, ignoring the sleeping figure on the bed, grabbing the much sought object from the bedside table. She was half way out the door when his mumbles caught her attention.

"Damn… Bitch. Leave… My… Deer alone. Die, lobster, die…"

The Council couldn't understand what was so funny about Mist's economy to make the ambassador laugh that hard.


	5. Scared Of Your Shadow

**A/N:** Hello, I've had this one for a while, and since it has a father-daughter moment, I thought I'd put it up in time for father's day. It's inspired by **Rockleerox93**'s** Afraid Of His Shadow. **Little Shika was just so damn cute! In this one, Hanajima makes an appearance, albeit a small one. And a happy father's day to my dad, who is the awesomest father in the world and doesn't ever complain about playing chauffeur to me, even when I interrupt his dinner. I love you dad, you're the best dad a girl could've asked for!

**Scared Of Your Shadow**

Uotani giggled happily, dodging yet another hit from the colorful ball her sister threw at her. She had managed to drag her lazy sister out of the house and make her play with her. Hanajima hadn't been too thrilled to leave her favorite spot on the couch, quite close to her father's – who was snoring right beside her – but one look from her mother and the three of them were off on their way to the playground; Hanajima, Uotani, and their lazy father, who'd been kicked out the house by his wife to "shake off the mold".

Even as a three-year-old Uotani found it funny the way her mother put her father on his feet with one narrowed gaze.

"Go get the ball, Tani!" Hanajima complained from across her.

"You're just saying that because you don't want to go get it." She squealed in annoyance, hands on her hips in a mockery of her mother.

"Well, you were the one who missed it!" the brunette complained back. Uotani dropped her frown and skipped happily to where the ball had landed, a few feet away.

She crouched, extending her arms to grab the toy, when something caught her eye. Something dark, on the floor, covering the ball, awfully close to her. It hadn't been there before. She eyed it suspiciously for a second, before bravely snatching the ball from the floor. She looked smugly to the black thing, before noticing that it had the shape of a ball sticking out of its side, quite like the way she was holding hers. Uotani gasped, backing away. She noticed, alarmed, that the thing had followed her. She tried stepping back again, but the thing just kept on chasing her. And what's more! It was making fun of her and imitating her moves!

Uotani's temper flared, rising over her fear for one second, and she decided that thing was going down. Or at least that what she thought before she lifted her foot to kick it, and found out it was _glued to her feet._

That was when she turned and fled to hide behind her father's legs.

Shikamaru was standing close by, on the spot where he had met Choji and Naruto minutes ago waiting for their kids on the playground, grumbling about his very troublesome wife to the sound of his friends' snickering, when he felt something collide against his legs. He looked down to find Uotani attached to them with panic in her green eyes.

"Daddy, daddy! Make it go away! It's after me!"

He grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him, in automatic protective mode, looking around frantically for what had scared his daughter. But he found nothing.

"What is it Uo? Where is it?"

"It's here!" she squealed desperately, pointing to the ground. He turned around, but still there was nothing. He looked at the other two men for support, but they only shrugged. There didn't seem to be anything. There was nothing on the ground, just the dirt path, the gravel and… Nah, it wouldn't be…

"Where?" he asked her doubtfully.

"On the ground! Here, daddy, the black thing! It's glued to my feet, it won't let go!" she cried, clinging to him in panic.

He looked again. The only thing attached to her feet… Was her own shadow, extending from her feet on the ground on to the other direction. He sighed, hearing Naruto and Choji trying to keep their laughter in check, and picked his terrified daughter up from the ground, rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Uotani, you're the first Nara _ever_ to be scared of your own shadow."

Wait until his father hears this one.


	6. Suna

**A/N: **Hello! Just a quick shot since I had free time. My school's on strike, I've got a lot of time on my hands. Study? Pffff! As if…

**Suna**

The first time he went back to his village, three months after he moved away, the first thing he did after ridding himself of the emotional mob ready to smother him was go to his usual cloud-gazing spot.

As he sat down on the familiar bench, he ran his fingers across the wooden surface nostalgically, almost childishly. He sighed, contented, looking up at the cerulean blue sky, filled with white cotton balls floating calmly. Suna didn't have many clouds, and the ones they had, sucked. He enjoyed this simple pleasure of life until his best friend arrived to disrupt his peace. They talked quietly for some time, before the impending question finally came out.

"So… How's Suna?"

He sighed once before answering truthfully.

"I hate that place." Seeing the look on his friend's face, he proceeded to explain. "It's too hot, then it's too cold, and there's always this maddening wind. The streets' disposition is confusing and the architectural structures are weird, and the people look mean and dangerous. The Council is made of a bunch of incompetent assholes it's a wonder Gaara manages to keep that village standing, the Academy is a complete mess, and when there's sandstorms… Sand! Don't even get me started on the sand!"

"Well," Chouji said hesitantly, cutting him off. "If you hate it so much… Why are you still there?"

He had shut up instantly and crossed his arms, looking away.

Truth was, he might've hated Suna, but Temari loved it, and… Well, he would never admit it out loud, but he loved _her_. So he would put up with her crappy village and its bad weather, shitty planning, mean people, idiotic politicians and… That horrid brown _itchy _thing, because as suckish as it was to be _there with_ her, it would be even worse to be _here without_ her.

He never said a thing, but he was sure the blush across his cheeks was a dead give away.

**A/N: **I find Shikamaru's deadly hate of sand hilarious. I'll have to include it more.


	7. Witty Love

**A/N: **I thought this up once, thinking that one of the things Shikamaru would miss was Temari's wit, since everyone in Konoha seems to be so loud and/or obnoxious.

**Witty Love**

The moment he stepped into the room, a knife came whizzing by his ear and embedded itself to the hilt on the wooden frame of the door, centimeters away from his head. He lifted his eyes to see his wife standing by the kitchen door, hands in her hips and a conceited look in her face. Six days away and she welcomed him home with a knife to the head. How loving.

"You know, if you loved me, you wouldn't throw knives at me." He grumbled, closing the door.

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have missed." She said pointedly, putting her weight on one hip.

"Bitch." He accused.

"Jerk." She remarked. His eyes narrowed. Was it war?

"Manly woman."

"Girly man."

"Slave-driver."

"Good for nothing."

"Pyscho."

"Crybaby."

"Troublesome."

"And you married me."

"Wonder why."

"You love me and you know it."

"Won't admit it under torture."

"You prefer drowning or whipping?"

"Drowning."

"Whipping it is!" she finished happily, clapping her hands together. He grinned.

"Gods, I missed you."


	8. Anniversary

**A/N: **To me, Shikamaru and Temari would be that kind of couple who spoke of things like their sex life in a totally non-chalant way just to shock their friends because their faces would look funny. They probably wouldn't do half the things they say xD They also don't sound like the type to bitch over forgotten anniversaries or anything. I always think they wouldn't even quite know when that was.

**Anniversary**

"What do you mean you don't have an anniversary?" Ino screamed indignantly at the couple before her. They stared at her impassively as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Exactly that, we don't have an anniversary."

"But… But… How do you celebrate then?" she stammered, shocked.

"We know the general amount of time we've been together, and that's enough for us."

"The general… The gen…" she squeaked in anger. "You're a disgrace to the world of romance, you know that?" Beside her, Sakura laughed, trying her own question.

"But surely you count them somehow. Parting from a first, for example, a first date. Or a first kiss?"

"First fuck?" Temari tried non-chalantly, turning to Shikamaru. Sakura flushed to the roots of her hair, Ino looked more disgusted. "We never did have a first date, or a cheesy confession. I guess first fuck will have to do. Do you remember when it was? It was the best day of your life, afterall." He rolled his eyes at her and scratched the back of his head thoughtfully.

"It was summer."

"Yeah, it was… And I was here, so it must mean the Chuunin Exams were near."

"We'll assume that. They're usually at around June or July. What do you like best?"

"I like July. Seventh month. I like odds better than evens."

"So… I guess I can pick the day. How do you like twenty-five?"

"Nah, too exact. Try something more broken."

"Uhm… Seventeen?"

"July, Seventeenth. It's got a nice ring to it. I like it."

They turned to the baffled girls in front of them.

"We've picked. July, seventeenth. You can congratulate us then." Ino stared at them for one second before stomping away cursing their absurdity. Sakura was a little less noisy. She looked at them with a confused face and a slight blush still in her cheeks.

"You have a very… Peculiar relationship." She said hesitantly, only to walk off after her blonde friend.

The couple stared at the place where the two had been seconds before, and then Temari turned to Shikamaru with a smirk.

"You do remember the first fuck, don't you?"

"June, twenty first. Tuesday. Five p.m. Hokage Tower, scroll closet number 7." He said methodically, and she raised her eyebrows surprised.

"It WAS the best day of your life!"

"Shut up."

**A/N: I actually love the date July, 17th. I don't know why, I just do.**


	9. Stars

**A/N: **I was coming back home the other night after having dinner with my sister, she is in college in a city an hour from ours. We were on the road, and it's pretty much green field around it, so you could see the stars perfectly. It reminded me of one of my family trips, we were stuck in this dark field in the middle of the country side waiting for a show of lights. The show sucked, but the sky was absurdly beautiful, and this thought inspired this scene. I was actually listening to "I Love You" by Avril Lavigne, but when I read it over, my head screamed "Yellow" by Coldplay. This is sort of dedicated to my sister, because she loves Coldplay.

**Stars**

**.**.._L__ook at the stars, look how they shine for you.._

They reminded him of her.

Stars, that is.

When the night was long and the sky was clear, he looked up at the million dots glowing like spotlights against the midnight blue and thought of her.

He thought of her golden curls tumbling down her shoulders and her deep green eyes shining like the dew on the grass. He thought of the warmth of her body against his and the comfortable weight of her head on his chest. He thought of her voice, low and soft, breathing out the words being carried off into the wind, words that would haunt his nights.

"The sun…" she had said, gazing into his eyes solemnly, as if telling him of one of the fordidden tales of old. Maybe she was. "The moon, the wind, the clouds… Are temperamental. They turn and change and give in to their every whim. If you were to follow in their footsteps they would lead you on to traps and dead ends." She had said seriously, searching his eyes. She smiled and shifted her gaze towards the sky.

In the middle of the dark field, away from the city lights, the stars shone like diamonds, scattering along the blue-black like freckles, connecting in invisible lines that formed constelations, so many of them, it made it a little hard to breathe. Her voice sounded again, smooth and hipnotizing, surrounding him in the magic of an ancient time, almost distant. He remembered it, like a memory of a dream.

"But stars…" she had said with reverence. "You can trust them. Stars are constant. They are up there since the world is world, they watch over us. And if you are smart enough…" she had looked at him, undescribible softness in her eyes. "Worthy enough…" she approached, brushing her lips against his, leaning against his forehead. "They will guide you home."

He strapped the sword to his back, holding his wounded arm and taking a deep breath, wincing as the cut throbbed. He fought the pain in his straining muscles, picking up the damned scroll he had retrieved. It seemed like such a long time ago he had left… He looked up at the stars above him.

It was time to go home.

**A/N: **I'm stupidly fond of this one. And just for the record, I imagine them standing in that scene. xD Just thought I'd mention. Hope it makes you smile, because it makes me feel all fluttery.


	10. Strip Shougi

A/N: This is not a Christmas drabble, it's a drabble on Christmas! xD This plot's been done a lot, but I wanted to give my take on it. We all know they've done this at one point or another, don't lie! xD

Strip Shougi

Ino had only been joking, but she was quite shocked once she found out her foreign friend... Hadn't. They had been talking about boys and teasing one another about each's respective other and she threw the sentence already giggling.

"Oh, come one, you two are like an old married couple! I bet you just sit and play shougi all day, how boring is that?" and then she added thoughtfully, "I don't know why you even agree to play with him, I mean, he's just going to beat you anyway. I think the only way you could actually win would be playing strip shougi!" she had proceeded to laugh her ass off, but Temari simply sighed and added sugar to her tea.

"Nah. That doesn't work." Ino stopped laughing instantly, staring at her with her mouth open.

"Doesn't… Work? Does this mean you tried?" the other didn't even blush at her words.

"Uhm? Sure we tried. It never works. As soon as my shirt and his pants are off… Everything goes downhill. We never finish a game."

Ino didn't think she'd ever look at a shougi board the same way again.

Or at Shikamaru, for that matter.

A/N: You have no idea how hard I laughed writing the title. Hope it made you laugh and that it was a little original. Merry Christmas, everyone!


	11. Young

**A/N:** Well, I just realized most of my work is inspired by music. This one struck me while I was listening to "We Found Love" by Rihanna. I just love the lyrics and how the beat has this note of nostalgia. It truly makes me think of reckless youth and fun, in a way. But what sucks is that the song that comes directly after this on my i-pod is "We Owned The Night" by Lady Antebellum and I was so concentrated that I let it play. Now I think it matches We Owned the Night better! Damn! xD Well, you decide which one you like best.

"_Yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side._

_As your shadow crosses mine, what it takes to come alive._

_We found love in a hopeless place."_

**Young**

They roamed the streets in a hot summer night under a midnight blue sky, heads fuzzy with alcohol and hands loosely intertwined as they approached and distanced in their walk. Her golden hair was a mess of curls on her shoulders, civilian clothes rumpled and damp, she held a torpid smile as she gazed at him and his silly grin. The truth was he wasn't much better, one look at her made him want to burst into laughter for no reason. There was just something fluttering in his chest that was filling him with so much happiness it was stupid.

They came across a fence, one she easily jumped, balancing herself on top of forgotten train tracks. She threw her arms up jokingly as an equilibrist and he lifted their clasped hands to give her support. As he looked at her, that uncontrollable urge to smile hit him again. She left the rails and jumped on the lowest horizontal bar of the fence, dropping his hand to hold on to the upper bar, putting all her weight on her arms. His hazy mind found the act particularly funny and he laughed out loud, followed by her. When their laughter subdued, he turned his head towards her to find her milimeters from his face. It took him a moment to realize she was talking.

"A billion people in the world… A thousand situations in which we could have died… After all the training and missions and shit we have to pull through everyday…" she cocked her head to the side, struggling with words to try and get her point across. "I just wonder... How?" she finished softly. He didn't know how, because he sucked in understanding as much as she sucked in explaining, but he knew what she was talking about. He looked away for a second with a thoughtful expression.

"I'll have… To take a leaf out of Neji's book… And call it fate." He joked, looking back at her. She smiled amusedly, looking down at him through half-lidded eyes, that same glow of challenge he had found so irresistible when he first noticed her.

"I don't believe in fate." She whispered against his lips. He couldn't help but smile back, leaning against the fence to come closer to her.

"Well, then I guess we're pretty lucky bastards." He muttered in a gruff voice, feeling that same bursting sensation in his chest as her smile widened and she angled her head to the right, eyes lowering to gaze at his mouth, her own parting in a hitched breath. In that moment, she looked so damn beautiful it almost hurt.

"Yeah… Yeah, we are." She said softly, closing the distance between them and touching her lips to his.

He couldn't help but think, as she kissed him in one of his village's grassy hills, standing under a diamond scattered sky, shivering as the cool breeze contrasted with the heat of her body next to his, tangled up with her, feeling the thumping of his heart as it pounded furiously in his chest, if this was what old people said it felt like being young.

And for one second, one fleeting second, the sarcastic cynic in him gave way to the twenty-year-old lovesick fool, who just wished that moment would last forever.

**A/N**: I'm not sure they have trains in Naruto, but they have boats so... I still think I could have put more feeling in it, but I read it a thousand times and couldn't figure out how. But I like it. Tell me what you think! And hurray for summer break! I'll probably update faster now. Or not. I'm lazy as hell xD


	12. Wedding Video

**A/N: **Hello again! So to explain this one. This summer break I went to visit my relatives in Italy, and when I was at my cousin's house, his wife put their wedding video for us to see and it was amazing. It looked so professional, it was like a movie. So inspiration struck. I know it's farfetched, because I seriously doubt ShikaTema would have a wedding video, but bear with me. It was fun to write. Music suggestion for this piece: Jet Lag, by Simple Plan and Natasha Bedingfield. Oh, and you can expect baby stuff soon, since my cousin's wife was five months pregnant. Squeals! So cute!

**Wedding Video**

_**Shikamaru and Temari**_

Why did I fall in love with Temari? Hell if I know! It sure as hell wasn't for her charming personality!

_Why did I fall in love with Shikamaru? I had never thought about it, really. I guess... Well, maybe... Wait. No, no idea._

I told her once it was her smile. She told me to say something manly like 'great sex'.

_I may have been a little drunk. For a little while..._

They say you don't choose who you fall for, right? Well, guess what? They're very, very right.

_I don't know why I'm marrying him! I don't know why anyone would marry him, actually. He's a lazyass!_

She's a slave driver. Swishhhh.

_He's a cocky bastard._

She loves to call me arrogant, but she has no idea just how much of a cocky bitch she is.

_I hate those insufferable smirks. Make me want to slap it out of him. Sometimes I do._

She gloats. So much she almost glows. She doesn't even try to hide it, the troublesome woman.

_He calls me trouble._

If you knew her, you'd know she's trouble.

_As a pet name._

Well, she is!

_He's a crybaby. Failed a mission once. Weeped like a kid._

She's violent. And mean. Really. I failed one stupid mission when I was twelve, my friends were all half-dead. I dropped a few tears. Woman won't let me forget it 'till today.

_It was a little cute, though, that he cared so much._

She did save my ass, though. So I guess I can't complain.

_He's very loyal, I'll give him this much. Always keeps his promises and stuff. So that's sort of admirable._

I wasn't lying about the smile thing, you know? It was in that mission. She showed up, tore down a forest, barely lifting a finger. Did in five minutes what I couldn't in two hours.

_He's actually not that lazy, you know? He told me once it was too troublesome traveling three days to see me. I kicked him out and told him to find a girl in his own village then._

She turned to me. Scared me shitless. Thought I was a goner.

_He showed up on my doorstep two months later with a jutsu he invented to make the trip in one day and a half._

She opened that... Stupid, cocky grin. Said 'How's that?' Think I fell right there.

_What do you mean 'nice', lady? 'Nice' doesn't cover it! Do you know the trouble he went through? Almost died! Twice!_

To be honest, she's not that bad. I just say it to tease her. She looks kinda cute when she's mad. All flushed and breathless.

_He's actually not that bad. I guess I just like to annoy him to get a reaction out of that stoic prick. It's fun. No, miss, I meant prick as an endearment._ Of course_ it can be used like that!_

She wasn't in my plans, you know? She's loud, and bossy, and annoying, and much too pretty for my health, but I guess life's the one thing you can't strategize.

_I'm not a romantic. Marriage was never a main concern in my life. I think you can say I've been avoiding it. Like the plague, actually. I always thought it was madness. I still think it's madness, mind you. But if there's anyone in this world I'd willingly attach myself to for life, it's him._

Yes, she's bitchy. Yes, she's troublesome. Trust me, she's really troublesome, you have no idea just how troublesome she can _get_. But I guess... There are some things that are worth the trouble.

_Damn, that was mushy._

Well, I just sounded like a girl.

_Wait a second, you're not gonna show this to him, right?_

That troublesome woman can never watch this. You won't show her, right?

_He can't see it!_

Seriously, don't show her.

_I can already see his stupid smirk..._

She's going to make fun of me for life...

**He/She is never gonna live it down!**

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed. And lots of love for my cousin's little family!


	13. Ceiling Fan

**A/N**: Brazil: Now accepting snow donations. I put this together at five in the morning of a sleepless night in hell. I'm dealing with 34 ºC in the shadow (93,2 for you who use Fahrenheit). Armed only with a ceiling fan. Oh, how I long for my air conditioner in the city! Correction: My dad just said the thermometer in the street marked 41 ºC when he passed by it. FOURTY ONE, PEOPLE! That's 105,8 ºF! I just might die tonight.

Ceiling Fan

_Because 41ºC is too much for a poor ceiling fan_

Heat waves. He could practically see them waving about in the room as he lied flat on his back on the bed. It was one of those infernal summer nights with temperatures that blew up the tops of the thermometers. The fan on the ceiling turned furiously at top speed, shaking with the effort, producing the most maddening squeaking noise. He noticed with growing frustration it wasn't doing much good, it simply aggitated the hot, moist air installed in the room. Still, he figured without it would be much worse.

Sweat drenched his whole body, pooling behind his neck and knees, making his skin slippery and clammy. It was one of those days where you left the shower already sweating. He felt grossed out by himself. He couldn't seem to drift off, he was tired and sleepy, but no matter how many times he closed his eyes, he only managed to be quiet for a minute, and then his eyelids would start gluing to his cheek or something, and he'd start blinking madly. Each time he just managed to get more and more bothered.

He stayed perfectly still, not a single muscle moving, the only thing in motion were his eyes, slowly chasing the mosquitos flying around the ceiling, following the movement of the turning blades of the damned fan. He wondered how one knew when he was having a heat stroke, because it sure looked like he was very close to having one.

The mattress swayed once and he suddenly became conscious of the body lying next to his. With much resistance from every fiber of his being, he gathered enough power of will to turn his head.

She was lying on her back now, arms sprawled out on each side of her body, legs slightly spread as to not touch each other. Her eyes fixed too on the ceiling fan, seemingly glaring at it for its innefficiency. Her damp curls were a tangled heap on her nape, strands glued to her brow, actual droplets slipped down her forehead once in a while. He lazily followed the trail of one that left her right eyebrow and ran down her cheek, across her chest, slipping into the neckline of her clothing. Her chest heaved up and down as she panted in the oven their room had become. Her long legs were barely covered by the shorts she had picked to sleep in. All in all it was a strangely delectible sight. For one full second he contemplated initiating something.

She turned her head his way, the glare disappearing as her eyes swept over his form, gleaming in wicked appreciation. They looked at each other, thoughts mirrored in that moment. A minute passed, but none of them made a move. They sighed together, turning away. That'd have to wait until the wheather became humanly bearable.

They both lied flat on their backs, eyes staring up at the useless ceiling fan.

Maybe tomorrow it would rain.

**A/N: **Yes, maybe it will. I'm crossing fingers here. My ice cream melted. In the freezer. Just saying.


	14. Exams

**A/N**: Hi there. Funny fact. This drabble I wrote during my college entrance exams. I haven't finished high school, but my mom made me try to see how it was, and 90 questions plus a composition later on a Sunday afternoon (after an identical Saturday, with more 90 questions), I was pretty tired, and pretty pissed for missing my weekend (Damn you, ENEM!), but luckily, there was this huge blank space on the last page of the questions book, and I scribbled this one down. My examiners were real sweethearts, and one of them was really cute (wink, wink), thus, this little scene was born.

**Exams**

Shikamaru entered the classroom, accompanied by a dozen of other chuunin. He sighed as he looked at all the contestants of that year. There were a bunch of them, though not as much as there normally would. War had hit hard, afterall. Some were quite mean-looking, some he was sure were there the year before and even really young kids. He recognized Ino's team huddled up in a corner, trying to look confident, but shaking like a leaf, with the forgiving of the pun. Kiba's team was with them, though, and that seemed to be what was keeping them from turning around and running out the door and back to their mother's laps. He didn't even want to think what they'd look like after the second test. He wanted to fail them just to be sure they'd still be alive in the morning.

With another sigh he started explaining the test as it was handed out. He could see the engines turning in the quickests's heads and despair filling the rest. By the time he finished, there had been at least ten cheating mechanisms installed. He smiled at the body language code from Ino's girls. That looked like something she would have put together. The dark-haired in Kiba's team was doing something with his wrists, he didn't care to find out, let the chuunins catch him if he slips up. The other two must have been trying to distract the examiners and contestants, because they fidgeted way too much to be natural. They were screwing up some people's nerves too. They were tough for a bunch of thirteen year olds. He was betting on them.

His eyes searched the room for the Suna teams. There had been eight that year, and they were all good. He would know. Temari had boasted about it for weeks. He didn't particularly want to hear her brag even more when all passed, but the damn kids weren't giving any signs of cheating. The questions were being answered, though. Either they were all geniuses, or they had been taught really well. He had bet with the troublesome woman only five of her precious babies would make it through, though, so he hoped some would screw up soon, or he'd be paying her dinner for a long, long time.

He thought about the crazy woman waiting to collect the winners. Anko would have jumped right in through the window with a painted signal the size of a sheet. Temari was more subtle. Through the years she had slowly grown up to be a deadly-whisper type. She appeared out of thin air, like a fresh summer breeze, usually with a too-damned-short skirt, incapacitating every male from coherent thinking while handing out papers that declared she was not to blame for their possible deaths. He thought it was a little unfair. Honestly, the poor bastards would have signed anything with those big green eyes blinking up at them. He should talk to her about it. Someone might sue them one of these days.

The clock was ticking. Five minutes to the end and despair had broken out among the ones not finished. He looked at his fellow chuunin. Even they looked anxious. He smirked to himself. Yes, he liked to see her dramatic entrance too. He stood up and announced the test was over. After a while deliberating, they called out those who had passed, and then shooed the losers out of the room with a "better luck next time".

"All of you who have passed to the Second Phase. Congratulations. Wait seated while your proctor for the Second Phase…"

He didn't get to finish. At that time, the wind picked up in the room, breeze gushing through the open window. He shook his head. She never changed. Always on time. She confused their senses for a bit and then appeared in a swirl of leaves, sitting on the table with a leg crossed on top of the other and a malicious smile. She was wearing the stupid short skirt too. Why were they always so short? The men in the room were already suffering from the Temari effect, some looked like they were drooling a little. That may be how Gaara passed all his projects in the Council. Have her sit there and look pretty. He could see it working somehow.

He thought if Anko had ever thought of trying Temari's technique. She might have managed if she nullified the psycho effect. That tended to cut the mood. He nearly chuckled. Only family and close friends knew the psycho Temari was. Maybe that was what was so funny about her entrances, when she acted all delicate and feminine, all the while betting behind their backs how many would die and how messily.

"Will you all accompany me to Training Grounds 44?" she smiled sweetly, causing some sighs. He turned to pack his stuff and leave, but she passed by him and whispered cockily "All eight are here, Nara, I'll have barbeque for dinner."

He groaned in annoyance. Damn those kids, couldn't have failed just a little?

**A/N**: I didn't put a 10th question, because that looked like it was Ibiki's thing, and by the talk Asuma, Kurenai and Kakashi had in the mangá, Ibiki being part of the chuunin exams was something out of the ordinary, so I guessed they would actually see if the data the people gathered was worthy material. Just a thought. Drop me a line or two, say what you think.


	15. Saying Yes

**A/N: **Where did this come from? No idea. But I just thought about a Shikamaru with a dopey grin after Temari agreed to date him, and how he'd be playing it cool but inside he'd be squealing and jumping like a girl.

**Saying Yes**

Shikamaru had been half listening to Kiba rambling about how his new week-long fling was already claiming him as a boyfriend, he was distracted enough to mention how Temari had done the exact opposite to him. She hadn't wanted to make their relationship official, it had taken him years to get her to agree to go on a real date with him. Kiba had burst out laughing, of course, but he didn't mind it that much. She'd be arriving in a few hours, there wasn't much that could put him in a bad mood at the moment.

"So, how did you feel when Temari said she'd date you?" Kiba teased him, fishing for more laughter.

"Officially, pretty happy." He said with a non-chalant voice, leaning casually against the wall. The other smirked.

"And honestly?"

"Honestly…" He was cut off by a sudden shout.

They looked to the source of the shouting. Naruto turned a corner, running and jumping from building to building, rooftop to the ground and back to the roofs again, literally bouncing off the walls, only to land on the ground, grab a girl passing by and twirl her around in the air, letting her stumble away when he dropped her hand. He did a little dance, shook hands with people passing by, waltzed with a couple of citizens, cut in the middle of a soccer game, scored a goal and spazzed away again. All the while screaming at the top of his lungs 'She said yes, she said yes, she said yes!' He stopped to grab a man by his shoulders and shake him saying 'She said yes, dude!' He rushed right past them, yelling about fireworks and painting the hokage mountain with a heart between their names. Shikamaru smirked.

"Honestly? Like that."

**A/N:** Let's be honest, Naruto would react somewhere along this lines. And I'm a NaruHina die hard, but you can choose who said yes to him. Not relevant here.


End file.
